There are a million things that I should be doing. Homework number one, but after hours and days of studying it, I just cant seem to get it. Now I will just pray for a miracle. I should be getting snacks ready for when my kids wake up. Vacuuming the floor before I don't have another opportunity. Replying to my emails, getting ready for class tonight or getting the grocery list together. There are a million things I should be doing, except for this. I am hoping after writing about random thoughts, I might find my motivation and a spurt of energy to get through the rest of my duties for the day.
I started my day at 6:30, typical Monday. Woke up, brushed my teeth and turned on the news waiting for Kyla my first little one of the day to arrive. That's when I heard a plop and fast footsteps rushing from my bed to the door. That's my hint to beat him to the stairs before he starts yelling for me and wakes Kaiden. Darin doesn't like to wake up alone and every time he does I am the first thing he goes looking for. When Kyla arrived just moments after we all snuggled on the couch as Kyla fell back to sleep. We carried on about our usually morning even with an early bird. Cleaned up any little messes, ate breakfast, got the kids all dressed for the day, played, had snack and then story time. The day was going really well. We had some company shortly before lunch and naps. Unfortunately this was Darin’s breaking point. I couldn't understand what his deal was in the moment and then remembered, he was up two hours early. After our company left I told him to sit in his bed to think about the way that he talked to me and treated me. He was to sit there until I had lunch ready then I would come and get him. When I went back up there about five minutes later, he was asleep. He had been so tired he hardly even cried for being in timeout. Its almost 3 and Darin is STILL asleep, along with Kaiden and Kyla. I am so grateful for the hours of peace and I am still enjoying them.
Amazing how after those moments of struggle and frustration thinking your the worst parent in the whole world, you still wouldn't trade it for anything. The first time I cried over Darin’s behavior was after walking out of a doctors appointment for the boys last year. It was so hard to keep them both under control and Darin was just wild. I walked out, called my mom and cried like a baby. I was humiliated and completely out of patience. All she could say was they are always worth it. And they are!!!
I love my little boys so much! No matter how much I may complain about being tired or frustrated, they are ALWAYS worth the fight!
